Santa Time with Toddlers: A Holiday Song Collection Not Found in Stores
Stinky Diapers
(Sung to the tune of “Silver Bells”)
Stinky diapers, leaky diapers, hanging down at her knees,
How I wish I’d remembered the wipes.
But I didn’t, and I’m stranded in an airport bathroom
And I’m thinking of using my hands.
Dirty buns...
Were those beans?
I think I have aged 15 years.
Dirty buns...
Boy I’m dumb...
Both of us now are in tears.
The 12 Days of Christmas (with a Toddler)
(Sung to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)
On the first day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me,
An ornament she took off the tree.
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took off the tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took off the tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me,
Seven bites of dog food,
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me,
Eight unfolded napkins,
Seven bites of dog food,
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me
Nine kinds of floor lint,
Eight unfolded napkins,
Seven bites of dog food,
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me
Ten dirty diapers,
Nine kinds of floor lint,
Eight unfolded napkins,
Seven bites of dog food,
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me,
Eleven pint of drool,
Ten dirty diapers,
Nine kinds of floor lint,
Eight unfolded napkins,
Seven bites of dog food,
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my toddler gave to me
Twelve minutes’ peace,
Eleven pint of drool,
Ten dirty diapers,
Nine kinds of floor lint,
Eight unfolded napkins,
Seven bites of dog food,
Six fists of cat fur,
Five, heart-felt shrieks.
Four sticky things,
Three tossed meals,
Two unwrapped gifts,
And an ornament she took from the tree.
Rudy the Snot-Nosed Toddler
(Sung to the tune of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”)
Rudy the snot-nosed toddler
Always had a runny nose
And every time you saw him,
You would wish he’d learn to blow.
All of the kids around him
Got his cold when they would play
Rudy the red-nosed toddler
Sickened all his friends this way.
Then one chilly Christmas Eve
His parents got a clue
Let’s leave poor young Rudy home
When he’s got the flu.
Now, Rudy feels much better
And my gosh, his friends do too
Rudy the snot-nosed toddler
Your parents made a wise breakthrough.
The No Song
(Sung to the tune of “Deck the Halls”)
Will you eat this lovely dinner?
No, no, no, no, no -- no – no – no – no!
Do you want to go to bed?
No, no, no, no, no -- no – no – no – no!
Can you answer with a “Yes, mom?”
No, no, no. No, no. No – no – no – no!
Ain’t it great to have a toddler?
No, no, no, no, no -- no – No – Well, Yes.
posted by Martha Brockenbrough @ 4:39 PM
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