Four teeny tales
We can tell if strangers are evil
Adam was driving along when he noticed that Lucy and the van-driving stranger in the next lane were winking at each other.
He decided it was a good time to talk about staying safe around people we don't know.
"It's impossible," he said, "to tell a nice stranger from a mean one."
Fifteen minutes passed.
Then Lucy said, "What if the stranger has a sword?"
* * *
A sign my stylin' days are over
As soon as I got home from a writing conference this afternoon, I removed my uncomfortable shoes and stood in the kitchen, literally in stockinged feet.
Lucy came running over.
"What's wrong with your toes? Your toes! They're stuck together!" She put her hand comfortingly on my arm. She looked like she was going to cry. Or maybe barf.
"They're not stuck together," I said. "I'm wearing panty hose."
"What are pantyhose?"
"Something I've had no occasion to wear in about five-and-a-half years."
"Hey!" Lucy said. "I'm five and a half!"
* * *
Girls gone wild — for seafood
When Alice, who is two years old and weighs less than 22 pounds, heard we were having sushi for dinner, she slapped her tiny ass and said, "Tushi! Spank my big tushi!"
* * *
My mother is like a ...
Lucy and her class recently began studying the poetry of Janet S. Wong, who wrote, "My Mother is Like an Onion."
The kindergarteners of room 102 each wrote a line comparing their moms to a variety of things.
- My mom is like a teddy bear because she's so fun to snuggle.
- My mom is like a flower because she's so voice.
- My mom is like a nightingale because she has a beautiful singing voice.
Here is Lucy's line:
My mom is like a mop because she's always cleaning.
I'm sure she meant a huggable, beautiful singing mop, right?